Number of posts : 244
Age : 45
Location : Athens
Registration date : 2007-10-07


Post  Kenpo on Mon Mar 17, 2008 4:45 pm

I write this story when i play with Horde empire.names are from there.

Chapter 1: "The curse"

(From Kenpo - Nordrassil)

I woke up with a terrible headache. Last night the raid at UC was not successful. Varimathras and Dark lady beat our ass. I still have the pounding sound of their swords hitting us in my ears. And just before that asshole demon died, he cast a spell to us, which I had never seen before... and then I woke up here... and now that I think of it, I donít remember how I got back to Stormwind. This is what Kenpo was thinking with his eyes closed. But he sensed the presence of someone in the room and when he opened his eyes, he also sensed something metallic on his chest. Ssimed was standing in front of him, with a deadly look in her eyes. Her sword was on his chest, ready to stab him.

Kenpo: Whatí s up baby? Are you kidding me? Why do you need your sword?
Ssimed: Bur ta ahor til antel.
Kenpo: What?
Ssimed: Bur ta ahor til antel.BYT AV ATA Y
Kenpo: Why are you talking like that? You are speaking like an Orc. How did you learn their bloody language?

Ssimed grabs Kenpo by the neck and throws him across the wall. Not a hard task for a 60 lvl paladin. Yeah but how? Since Iím a 60 lvl priest myself .. how? Had I been only a mere lvl 1 I can understand but nowÖ.? Kenpo hadnít even finished that last thought when someone grabs him from behind tying up his hands. It is impossible for him to ďresistĒ no matter how hard he tries. He is completely helpless and feels surprisingly weak. Ssimed and two other guard warriors of stormwind are taking him through narrow paths, which wind up to the dungeons of the castle. An iron door opens and they just throw him in. They also took his blanket which he was twisted with away and held him warm.

Kenpo: Impossible! Why did they throw me in here? I was in rank 10 damned it and I was ready to go on to rank 11. I was about to take that epic horse.

Kenpo puts his hands up towards the sky, which can be seen among the balusters of his cell. He puts up his green coarse-cut hands and starts swearing. Green coarse-cut hands? How can a Human Priest have green coarse-cut hands? How can this happen?

Kenpo: Whatís going on? Whatís wrong with me? How can this happen?

Suddenly behind him, he hears the sounds of laughter. He turns and he sees that an undead and a troll are staring at him. He didnít see them when he was thrown in the cell.

Kenpo: Whatís up bony boy? Why are you laughing?
Kalhas: Calm down dude. I am laughing because I was saying the same things just a few hours ago, when they threw me and Olympia in here. Yes, this is Olympia.
Olympia: Hello Orc.
Kenpo: Hello... Just a moment because Iím losing it. I am Human Priest. What are you talking about and how can we be talking to each other?
Kalhas: We donít know much either. I will tell you what we think happened, all these hours that we are here discussing. We also were humans yesterday. Youíre not the only one with this curse on you. Because it must be a curse. It canít be anything else. Yesterday, we were together in the raid in UC, but you did not recognize me because you are still confused. I am Kalhas.
Kenpo: Kalhas??? WooooW !!!! Really... you are Kalhas????!!!?!?!? Who is Kalhas?
Kalhas: I am the Raid Leader and I invited you to the raid with us. Even if you were not from the guild.
Kenpo: I remember. But I thought that you were Rogue.
Kalhas: Exactly. I was. Now, I donít know what I am. I think that me and Olympia are priests.
Kenpo: Why do you say that?
Kalhas: Because we are murmuring the 12 gospels and till now I have made 5 exorcisms and 120 penances!!!
Olympia: Yes, but Kalhas, you are a little discordant. When you sing in byzantine, you are very bad...
Kalhas: Fuck you Oly! We have serious problems here and you are...
Kenpo: We were level 60. And if I remember right, you were epic from head to toe. Now, we are all level 1! What kind of a curse is that guys? He changed our race, he changed our speaking language. Now he changes our levels too?
Olympia: They changed everything on us!
Kalhas: But the biggest problem we have this moment is that we donít have much time to think what we are going to do. Look outside the window Kenpo.

Kenpo goes to the window and tries to see outside. And just when he untangled his teeth from the balusters, he sees something that he had never seen before. You see, in the holes of DELE he had heard stories more like fairy tails, told by grandfathers about these holes which he never believed. He thought that these were fairy tails told only to scare children. The holes of DELE... thrown inside and your Account becomes DELETED.!!!

Kenpo: The holes of DELE really exist?
Kalhas: They exist. Up to now, there have been 37 people thrown inside them. And do you know which ones? The guys from last nightís raid, which means...
Olympia: ...That we will be next.
Kalhas: Ö.WomenÖ.always babbling... Which means that we have to find a way to escape.
Kenpo: Didnít they realize who we are? Didnít they see that when they found us we were in our beds? In Stormwind of all places?! Didnít it cross their minds that an Orc cannot sleep in stormwind???
Kalhas: Yes, I also thought about that... Something weird is going on.
Olympia: I didnít think about that...
Kalhas: I have something in mind....
Kenpo: You have a mind??? But you are undead. A skull is the only thing you have!!!
Kalhas: Stop that nonsense and listen to me... When they come in to take us away, we will attack them. All 3 of us together.
Kenpo: WoooW!!! Thatís a perfect plan... You thought of that all by youself? 3 level ONE will attack level 60ís? We will only have broken bones after this and nothing else..
Kalhas: Exactly.
Kenpo: Are you crazy? Canít we find a plan B?
Kalhas: Listen to me. Can you do anything else? Eitherway, you will die. Do what Iím saying and it will work. Trust me. What I mean is...

When they heard footsteps from the paths beyond, they knew someone was coming. The big Iron Gate opened. Two Paladins and one Mage Full Epic come inside. The gate closes. Outside, 3 warriors are guarding the hall.

Ssimed: At ty bur bur ta at taa Y.
Virgil: Tramps or Lords. Ssimed The leader of the imperial guard will interrogate you to find out how you got here.
Kenpo: Some hopes!
Olympia: Thank God! At last we too will find out whatís going on!!!
Kenpo: Olympia, they said he will interrogate us. They also donít know.
Virgil: Shut up!!!
Ssimed: Re tir uva si bur bur ko Y TA.
Olympia (whispering): So, when we were talking like this, they could hear us? That really sucks!!!
Virgil: The Lord wants to know how you came in the rooms of our soldiers and where the soldiers are.
Ssimed: WER adr bur bur bur ka ta I Y la.
Virgil: The Lord says that if you tell us, we will throw you in jail until you die. If you donít tell us, we will throw you in the holes of DELE.
Olympia: Kalhas, lets tell them so that we can get rid of the holes!!!
Kenpo: Why, you know what to tell them or what the hell has really happened here for that matter Oly??? Olympia: that must have slipped my mind.
Kalhas: Listen mage. Tell him that there has been a misunderstanding. Until yesterday, we were part of the Alliance. We are your soldiers. I am Kalhas. Donít you recognize me???
Virgil: LOLÖ. What are you talking about skinny boy... How can we believe something like this?
Kalhas: Just tell him. NOW.
Vergil (turning towards Ssimed): WE rut bur bur T Y he rty cacer ubron AS bur bur.
Ssimed: AR ty orotas ertyp mist bur bur bur re YT.
Virgil: The other ones told us the same thing and they were thrown in the holes of DELE. Talk or else you will be deleted.
Olympia: No, we are not! I have a plan...
Kalhas looks at Olympia, trying to tell her something with his eyes.
Kenpo: Shut up or else Kalhas will delete you.
Kalhas: How can level 1 horde unit get inside Stormwind? Canít you just think about that for a minute here? And even if we somehow managed to get in, we all went to sleep?? You think that we didnít like our beds in Orgrimar and came here to sleep???

Vergil turns towards Ssimed and tells him what Kalhas said. Ssimed thinks about it and discusses with Vergil for 2Ė3 minutes. Then, Vergil, turns towards Kalhas and says.

Virgil: Even if you are telling us the truth, we cannot let you leave. If you are cursed, we have to find out who did this to you and if he can do it to us also. Even if we are deceased you can infect us and everyone in stormwind will become level 1. That way you can seize the town. Thatís an evil plan just like you are.
Kenpo: Mister... we are in WoW. Not in Hollywood.
Vergil: The Lord has made his decision. You will be thrown in the holes of DELE. Just to be sure.

Kalhas looks at Olympia and Kenpo. They both understand that he was going to do something. Kalhas performs Smite to Vergil. 4 damage. The surprise he felt was more than the pain he suffered. So when Vergil came around, he starts laughing. Then Olympia casts Smite to Vergil. 5 damage.

Olympia: I am level 1 but I am still better than you Kalhas.
Kalhas: You are so full of yourself thatís what you are. (clearly annoyed)
Kenpo: Iím not going to stay and watch you... Ií m coming!!!

Kenpo attacks Vergil with his sword. 2 damage. He does it again... Vergil pushes him back...
Olympia: Kenpo is better than you Kalhas...

Kalhas and Olympia make a smite again. But Vergil does an arcane explosion. Kalhas 485 damageÖKalhas diesÖ. Olympia 576 damage ÖOlympia dies. Kenpo 498 damage Ö.Kenpo dies. Before dying, Kenpo hears Ssimed shouting to Vergil. And then... everything became black and white... everything pale, everything without colour... Is that what death is like?? Kenpo looks at his fingers, trying to find Mr. Frodoís ring.... Then he heard Kalhas saying...

Kalhas: Talk to the angel.
Olympia: But, how can my items be damaged 25%...
Kalhas: Do you use them at all??? Youíre afraid of damaging your G-string Olympia???
Olympia: But you have seen my string. Itís Calvin Klein...

Kalhas whispers something to the angel and dissapears. The same happens to Olympia.

Kenpo: I have the impression that they are always leaving me behind... or I am a little bit slower.... Well... I guess I have to talk to the lady in white...
Kenpo: Hello flying being... Where did the two persons who spoke to you before go??
Angel: I raised them up from the dead.
Kenpo: And what about me?? Are you going to leave me here??
Angel: If you want me to raise you also, you have to ask for it. But first you must know that all your items will suffer a 25% durability loss.
Kenpo: It doesnít matter. I donít wear a Calvin Klein string after all. Just do it.

Kenpo finds the land of the living again. Kalhas and Olympia are waiting for him.

Kalhas: What took you so long??
Kenpo: The angel was flirting with me... But I would have to stay on the other side and I didnít want to leave you two alone...
Olympia: Ok Ė Now I feel dizzy. But I donít know whether I feel dizzy because I crossed to the land of the living so suddenly, or because I heard what I just heardÖ. HmmmmÖ
Kenpo (ironically): Youíre just jealous!!
Kalhas: Cut the crap both of you and lets go. We have work to do. We have to find out what happened and we became like this. We have to get back to our previous form.
Kenpo: And where are we going to go? We are still outside stormwind. All the areas around here are Alliance areas.
Kalhas: We have to go to the Undercity. We will start the searching from there.
Olympia: Lets go north then.
Kenpo: And how are we going to pass the burning steppes, badlands and all those areas? The Mobs will be able to see us from 2 maps away and they will call their friends for dinner... having us as the main dish.
Bastyani: Hey, you!!! What are you doing there? Come here, behind the bushes.

The 3 partners turn and see a hunter level 60. So they go next to him.
Kalhas: Hello... Whats up? Bastyani: We are ready for a raid in Stormwind, as an answer to the yesterdayís attack of the alliance in Undercity. What are you doing here at this level?
Kenpo: Itís a very long story...
Kalhas: You are getting ready? Who is getting ready?
Bastyani: Me and some friends from the guild. The Horde Empire. Do you know it?
Olympia: And just how are we supposed to know of the Horde guilds?

Olympia frowns and looks away hands crossed in front of her breasts.

Brego: What do you mean? Arenít you Horde yourselves?
Kalhas: We are level 1. How should we know them? We havenít even started our lives here.
Olympia: Oh is that what I meant?
Kenpo (whispering): Shut up! You will get us all killed!
Olympia: Ahhh yes! thatís what I meant!
Bastyani: Well... stay aside now because we are going to kill the guards of the gate.
Olympia: I donít think so.
Bastyani: What??
Olympia: I see someone coming...

Vergil and Ssimed can be seen coming out the gates of Stormwind on their Epic mounts, together with a lot of guards and servants.

Bastyani: So what... OK, we will do this later. Dazero!!! Make a portal at UC plz.
Kalhas: Can you take us with you, so that the Alliance donít catch us?
Bastyani: Ok dude... Iíll invite you. So the 3 partners get a summon to UC. The place that this adventure started out in the first place, is a better place to start finding out what happened to them.

to be continue ..........


Number of posts : 149
Age : 50
Location : Pikermi, Hellas
Registration date : 2007-10-01


Post  Neoptolemos on Tue Mar 18, 2008 3:21 pm

My favourite story, once again in a forum for everyone to read. For all those that haven't read the full story, be prepared for many :lol!:s


Me be da gangsta again. Who be da heala now?



Post  Guest on Tue Mar 18, 2008 4:45 pm

Great Kenpo!

Now i want MORE !!! Twisted Evil
Stop playing and write the rest . lol!

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